Hell aka Shikon High
by Lucillia
Summary: Good old Shikon High where Kagome's pregnant, Kikyo is left wondering why people think she's Kagome's bitchy twin sister, Inuyasha can't decide what species he is, and Sesshomaru doesn't know whether he's a teacher or a student since he's apparently both.
1. Chapter 1

Sesshoumaru blinked. He was standing at the front of a room that was filled with about two dozen small tables at which a number of adolescent humans and youkai were seated, and looking around themselves in horror. If he remembered from similar dreams along this vein, the tables were called desks, and if he looked behind him he would find a much larger example of one as well as a large green writing slate. Seated at one of the desks with a blank look on his face was...himself. He quickly looked away since he knew what happened if he focused on the other him too long.

"Fucking great! As if my day wasn't craptastic enough! It's this dream again!" His younger brother who couldn't seem to decide whether he were human or hanyou if the way his form kept flickering back and forth between the two was any indication yelled, summing up the situation for everyone.

"Why am I pregnant?" the usually indecently dressed - he couldn't exactly call her outfit indecent here as it was being worn by all of the females present as if it were some form of uniform - miko who followed his bastard half-brother asked as she looked down at her swollen belly.

Why did he have vague memories of having intimate relations with the loud and annoying human female on the roof of the school while being caught by someone called Taisho-sensei who also happened to be him? Why did he also have memories of having intimate relations with the human in this very room while she was supposed to be doing something called "Detention" and feeling guilty about it since teachers weren't supposed to be doing that kind of thing with under-aged students?

He would shelve those thoughts for later. He was reasonably certain that he hadn't had relations with the oddly dressed miko. She wasn't his type. It wasn't the whole her being human thing, though that was a major turnoff. He just found her personality grating, and he preferred redheads like the mystery Kitsune in the corner who...

Aw crap, it's male.

There was a strange noise that in the vaguest sense might be called music if one stretched the definition to the breaking point. It stopped after the monk who traveled with his half-brother Inuyasha pulled something out of his pocket and did something with it.

"Woo hoo! Someone agreed to bear my child!" yelled the monk that traveled with his half-brother.

"Oh god! Please no!" the miko whose name was either Kikyo or Kagome or something on those lines whimpered as she looked down at her swollen abdomen.

"Really? Who?" asked an unfamiliar Kitsune who smelled similar to the tiny male that the miko constantly carried around with her.

"Someone I have been conversing with over the thing called the internet." said the monk as he fiddled with one of the strange objects that one often found on one's person during one of these dreams. It was a flat device which was relatively featureless barring the image of a piece of fruit from his vantage point.

He looked down at his own hands to find something called a "Lesson Plan". It apparently outlined what he was supposedly supposed to be doing at the moment, which was teaching.

There was one small problem however...

He didn't have a fucking clue about the subject that he was supposed to be teaching this random group of individuals.

"Where the hell was the place called "America", and why out of all things in the world was he supposed to be teaching the history of its people?"

He rapidly flipped through the book he spotted on the desk behind him as he frantically searched for a clue as to how he was supposed to deal with this situation barring killing everyone in the room and denying that this had ever happened.

Who would be so cruel as to name their child Tomasu Jiefuruson

As his younger brother had said, As if his day wasn't craptastic enough...


	2. Chapter 2

Sesshomaru blinked. He'd just finished "teaching" American History, and he'd found himself sitting at a desk near the back of the class as the bell rang. His other self was telling the other students to have a nice day while he blankly stood in front of the teacher's desk. Watching that happen hadn't gotten any less creepy in the last ten times he'd had this bizarre and frankly incomprehensible dream. Not that he let his thoughts and emotions on the situation show upon his face which still bore his carefully constructed stoic mask.

He exited the classroom to watch the demon slayer who traveled with his half-brother make a disgusted face as the miko she traveled with explained what the items that were in the small packages that she'd found in her bag were for. Apparently, humans became so widespread that they had been forced to come up with ways of curbing population growth. The oddly smelling objects were one of them.

It was apparently far too late for the miko who looked close to due. He hoped to all that was holy that it wasn't his offspring. Dream or not, he didn't plan on creating any hanyou

As he aimlessly wandered the halls he'd found himself in vaguely wondering what the hell he was supposed to be doing next in this strange place that looked and smelled completely alien to him, a short balding human male with a bad combover who was dressed in an outfit that his mind supplied was a white short sleeved shirt, black trousers, and black shoes approached him. The same mental voice explained that the man was something called a "guidance counselor".

"Sesshomaru." said the man. "Just the person I wanted to talk to."

"What reason do you have to address me?" he asked, looking down at the man and itching to rip his head off for his audacity since Rin wasn't around to see and become traumatized by such an action. She'd had the most horrible nightmares for weeks after he'd made the mistake of doing something similar in her presence. It wouldn't matter though, since the man would simply waver and reform if he went through the effort of tearing his head off if past experience was anything to judge by. Then, the man would yell something about an attack, then the "Police" would come, and there would be the sort of headache he didn't want to deal with as his wrists were bound by an object that he couldn't break and was put in a cage he couldn't escape from, after being forced to ride in a foul smelling conveyance of some sort.

"I was wondering why you signed up for so many extracurricular activities if you weren't going to bother attending them." the "guidance counselor" said.

"Extracurricular activities?" he asked, wondering if those were the things he was supposed to be doing in this bizarre and frankly incomprehensible dream.

"You're on the baseball team, the basketball team, the football team, the soccer team, the swim team, the table tennis team, the chess team, the cheerleading team and the lacrosse team." the "guidance counselor" said. "You're also in the Go club, the Baking club, the Embroidery club, the Drama club, the Shogi club, the school band, the JROTC, the Future Farmers of America, and the Boy Scouts."

He blinked. He had absolutely no idea what most of those groups he supposedly belonged to were.

"Frankly, you're double, and in most cases, triple booked." the "guidance counselor" said. "I suggest that you drop a few activities."

He didn't stop to think about this for more than two seconds.

"Drop all of them except the Go club." he replied. He would have dropped them all, but he enjoyed a good game of Go now and then. If he could find something enjoyable about these bizarre dreams, then he'd damn well keep it since the rest of it was a nightmare.

&!&!&!&

Naraku sighed as he dozed off under a tree in a public garden that was half a mile away from the building that was called the "Shikon High School". He'd hidden as soon as his mind had processed where he was. Fortunately, he'd not been in the same room as Inuyasha's group, instead finding himself at the front of a classroom which had contained a rather pissed off Kikyo as well as the usuall group a minions, random humans and youkai, and an upset Kouga.

The first three times this "dream" had happened, everyone had blamed him for it and pretty much piled on him and tore him apart. Now, they pretty much tore him apart when they spotted him for the hell of it.

He may have admittedly been twisted and insane, but even his mind couldn't have come up with something like this in a million years.

The fact that Kikyo's reincarnation whom he had vague memories of doing something rather explicit with during something called "detention" was able to move about this odd world with relative ease was rather telling in his opinion.


	3. Chapter 3

Kikyo sighed as she prepared for that evening's work. Apparently, her current job title was called either "Stripper" or "Exotic Dancer". What this boiled down to was that she was forced to go on stage in some dark area that was lit by oddly colored lights and remove her clothing while "dancing" around a pole that was set at the end of the stage in what was supposedly a seductive manner. She much preferred the times she was in a "Rock Band" despite the fact that the "Music" grated on her senses and left her with a most godawful headache. She liked the times when she wasn't employed outside the mysterious "Extracurricular Activities" best of all.

There were many times that she wondered if what was going on was punishment for some sort of sin she had committed while she was alive. Why else would she be forced to live in this world that she was almost willing to swear was the Hell that was spoken of by the Christian priest who was called a "Preacher" when she had been dragged to a place called "Church" by Higurashi Kagome's family during one of these dreams. If it were such a Hell, it would explain a great deal.

The "School" was the most bizarre and incomprehensible place she could imagine. In fact, before she came here, she could never have imagined such a place even in her wildest dreams. Despite ostensibly being an institution of learning, very little in the way of education occurred there. Part of that was because the "Teachers" were people who had been dragged there against their will and had as little an idea of what was going on as she did. Another part of that was because most of her time in the school was spent trying to figure out the various activities she found herself in the middle of which seemed to consist of a wide variety of "Clubs" and a couple of incomprehensible sports.

During the short amount of time that she was "In Class" she was forced to listen to a bunch of "friends" that she'd never before met in her entire life or unlife for that matter gossiping about subjects she couldn't care less about while she watched as the "Teacher" fumbled around for a clue as to what he was supposed to be doing, found a book or something written on the over-sized writing slate in an incomprehensible language, and started reading it aloud to the "class" as he had about as much knowledge on the subject matter he was supposed to be teaching as the students, which was about nil unless your name was Kagome.

Higurashi Kagome was another matter entirely. For some strange reason, the "students" she was unfamiliar with, and the people she knew when they were in that seemingly hypnotized state they all occasionally found themselves waking up from all seemed to believe that she was Kagome's twin sister, and when they weren't putting the Higurashi girl down for whatever reason, they were complaining about how hard she was being on her despite the fact that she did her best to avoid her reincarnation like the plague.

One time she'd followed the Higurashi girl to her home. That had been disturbing to say the least, as the girl's family had all seemed to believe that she was one of them, and her sister was married to her reincarnation's grandfather for some strange reason. She avoided that place whenever possible as well. Unfortunately, she had woken up to find herself there any number of times, such as the one in which she had been dragged to that "Church service".

Kikyo shook her head and blinked as it had become fuzzy while she had yet again been contemplating her current lot in life or unlife rather. When she focused on the outside world, it had been to find that the exceedingly skimpy underclothing she was wearing was once again stuffed with what she presumed to be money, and that the men who surrounded the stage were clapping and cheering.


	4. Chapter 4

Kagome screamed in frustration as she dropped her bookbag off at "home" where her fake family had apparently been awaiting her return. For no discernible reason, Souta had aged several years, dyed his hair several colors, gotten a large number of piercings, and the most amazingly tacky dragon tattoo she'd ever seen. Her mother seemed to be engaged in some highly inappropriate activity with Hojo, and her grandfather was gulping down sake like it was going out of style despite the fact that it was the middle of the day. Kikyo's sister Kaede looked as if she wanted to join him, but she was currently about eight years old at the moment, and every time her hand neared the bottle her grandfather was drinking directly out of, it hit an invisible barrier. At least Kikyo herself in either her hypnotized state or her completely aware state wasn't here to cause trouble.

She hated this goddamn dream. Every time she had it, something new and horrible happened to her. So far, she'd screwed just about every male she had seen more than once in the Sengoku Jidai despite her opinions of them, and now she looked to be about eight months pregnant. If anyone asked her who the father was, she would have to honestly reply that she didn't have a clue. If just about everybody she knew including her enemies hadn't been having this dream as well, she would have been seriously wondering if she needed some sort of counseling as she apparently was the town bicycle here.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the world that surrounded the school at which learning seemed to be of least concern if the activities in which she'd been forced to participate were any indication seemed to be the most bizarre and incomprehensible mix of both America - or at least she thought it was America, she could be mistaken though as she'd never been there - and Japan, and for some strange reason everyone outside the school seemed to speak English. If she hadn't been taking English at her real school, she would have had absolutely no idea what they were saying. As it was, she was having a bit of trouble understanding despite being one of the top students in her English class, or rather having been one of the top students in her English class before that incident on her fifteenth birthday.

To make matters worse, every time she was really at home rather in this horrifying dream world, she found herself constantly making sure she was really there and that she hadn't been transported when she blinked. She found herself flinching almost every time she saw or heard an English word now, afraid she'd turn around to find herself snuggled up in Naraku's arms or worse.

"Where have you been you little slut?" her drunken "grandfather" said by way of greeting.

Great. It was going to be one of _those _dreams.


End file.
